I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to view having colonies as a symbol of power and prestige.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to view having colonies as a symbol of superiority of being able to control and subject an entire nation/country to my will, culture and ruling.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe it is something to be proud of if you live in a country that has colonies, like that makes you a greater person somehow.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to question Belgium's role as a colonial ruler as well as its responsibility it had/has after the colony of Congo became independent - just thinking that after the declaration of independence, we had reached a happy ending, and thus - our job is done - because we are happy, we are satisfied, not considering all the parties involved.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that there is something seriously wrong with our country, our world and ourselves if we cannot look our children in the eye and openly share about our country's history because we know we are responsible for the suffering of millions through first stripping them of everything they ever knew in colonising them and then leaving without facilitating an effective transitional and support system to be implemented - like cutting off someone's legs and then expecting them to start walking.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to keep quiet about the topic of Congo, harbouring it as a taboo within myself, because I believe that if I don't speak of it, don't think about it, then it doesn't affect me and it allows me to live in ignorant bliss.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use countless excuses of why we shouldn't support Congo after independence, when actually we just think of the country as a burden that we have nothing to gain from anymore - since we can achieve the same goals through purely economic means as developing countries are being drawn into the globalisation process where resources are pulled away from them without having to give proper repayment, as they don't have the financial power to demand to be respected and treated as equals.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to claim to be working towards a better world when we are too ashamed of who we are and what we have done as a people, a nation, to educate the next generations about ti so that the young generations can learn from past mistakes.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to claim to be working towards a better world while deliberately abdicating responsibility for the harm we have done unto other people, pretending that we can create a better world without requiring to take responsibility for our thoughts, words and deeds.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to claim to be working towards a better world while we are too ashamed to admit to our own mistakes and within this, place shame above what needs to be done in consideration of what is best for all - and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in an absolute act of self-interest.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to claim to be working towards a better world while we cannot look our children in the eye and speak straightforwardly about the world we created for them as it is a legacy of problems that we are leaving to our children to sort out.
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